Wednesday, October 2, 2013

38 Weeks... This is it!

I'm the hugest.

But seriously, I can hardly believe that in 5 days I'm going to have a newborn.  I know I've said it before, but this pregnancy has been EASY.  Maybe even too easy-- I'm SO looking forward to having Mia here, but it's crazy that the time has gone by so quickly and I'm really going to have a tiny infant in less than a week?  What in the world?!?

As far as how I'm feeling... physically, I'm fine.  My feet and ankles and hands and face are fat with water, but, meh.  I'm tired, but again-- meh.  The past week I've been sleeping horribly, but with Lex I couldn't sleep for like the last 2 months of my pregnancy, so this is easy-peasy.

Now emotionally... I'm a little stressed.  Not about the delivery.  C-sections are no big deal to me.  I don't worry about that at all.  Mostly I'm stressed about Lex.  In the past few days, she's refused to take naps and has just played in her room at nap time instead (I don't even have any toys in there!  Just a few books!  But she makes her own fun, I guess...).  She's become a world-class fit thrower (read: she kicked me in the face at the store yesterday cause she was flailing around so much when I picked her up and carried her away from the nail polish).  She really is a great little girl, and most of the time we don't have issues.  But when we do, man, they are ISSUES.  Her night time sleep habits are terrible the past few days too.  She wakes up at like 4am and starts calling for me.  So weird.  I just worry because this is all happening right before I have Mia... what is she going to do when I actually bring her little sister home?  And also.  We are very attached to each other.  So as much as I worry about her not having me to put her to bed, play with her, etc. the real fear is more for my own sake.  I'm WAY attached to this girl.  I can't imagine being away from her for 4-5 days.  I know she'll come visit in the hospital, but still.  I don't have any worries about her being with DJ and my mom during that time.  She adores them both and she'll have a good time.  But I'm worried that since I'm going to be gone for nearly a week, she's going to lose her attachment to me.  It happened to DJ with his mom when he was little.  So scary to me.   And truthfully, I'm jealous that DJ gets to take that role for a few days.

I know it will all work out.  Really I do.  It's just the adjustment that I hate the thought of.  The good news is, it's a crazily busy week for us, so the time will fly and I'll be making the adjustments instead of sitting around thinking about them and I do better with action than thoughts!

1 comment:

  1. My biggest concern before delivering McKay was that I wouldn't be able to love him as much as I did Ty--I'm totally serious. You get that one-on-one time with your first that you don't with any other subsequent children, and as a result, I was quite sure Ty would always be my favorite. Mom tried to reassure me that it wouldn't be that way, but I honestly believed deep down that I would always love him best. And then McKay was born, and for the first time in my life, I felt the strangest sensation that my heart was beating outside my body. I felt an INSTANT connection to him in a way that I didn't feel with either of my other two. And then Annie was born and I was just so obsessed to have a little girl. She was just BEAUTIFUL to me and I just couldn't get over the fact I had a daughter! Seriously, the word "Daughter" felt sacred passing my lips for several days after her birth. Truth is, somehow you really do love all your children equally. I love them differently, but I could never, ever choose a favorite. So mom was right after all.
    And don't stress about Lex becoming dissattached to you. She will be great with DJ and Mom, and she will be great with you when you come back home again. Your relationship might change a little, you might notice she is becoming more independent, but that would happen as she grows anyway. It will be fine.