Sunday, June 26, 2011

The Honeymoon

I'm going to be honest... I didn't do my hair today.  I was so exhausted after the wedding yesterday that I came home and took a 3 hour nap, then took a shower and let my hair air dry.  Then I went back to bed, and this morning I was still so tired and DJ and I caught some kind of bug this weekend so we've both spent some time on our knees in front of the toilet... anyway, I didn't do my hair today.  And I'm not going to.  So instead, I've decided to entertain you with the story of my honeymoon.  This really is a ridiculous [and 100% TRUE] story, as recorded in my journal after returning home from my Honeymoon From Hell.  I'll return to hairstyles tomorrow.

Sunday, August 20, 2009

We got up and went to church, then went to temple square.  We met DJ's parents there, which was fun.  They were coming to pick up our car and drive it to Wyoming for us.  They dropped us off at the airport, where we were flying to Miami to spend the night before going on our Caribbean cruise.  We waited in the SLC airport for a few hours, and our flight was delayed.  I started freaking out, cause I'm just a stresser.  I was worried we'd miss our connecting flight in Houston and miss our cruise.  We finally got on the plane and on our way, and when we landed in Houston we just barely missed our flight.  Our flight attendant heard we had just gotten married and offered us a bottle of wine... that was the first time I had been offered alcohol in my life, and I am 22.  The airline paid for a hotel for us for the night, but the bad news was my birth control was in my luggage, which was still at the airport.  Lame.

Monday, August 21, 2009

We went back to the airport and caught our flight to Miami.  When we got there, my luggage never came out on the carousel.  We went to the help counter, and they said it should come in on the next flight, and they'd send it right out to the port for us.  We decided to take public transportation to the port instead of paying out the nose for a taxi.  It was a crazy train system and some local guy helped us figure it out.  We were totally in the slums of Miami, and I was in awe looking at the living conditions of so many people.  When I stopped looking out the train window and started looking around the interior of the train instead, I realized I was the only white girl on it.  Even DJ didn't look white, cause he was so tan!  I was way out of place, but I was with my husband so it was fine.  We got down to the port and got on the ship with no problems.  I immediately called the airport to find out about my luggage, and they said they were still looking for it.  I was trying not to stress.  We went to our room and it was TINY!  There was a king size bed that had about a one-foot walkway on one side, and that was about it.  Cabin Fever, anyone???  I continued to call the airport with no success.  We talked to the help desk in the cruise ship, and they continued to call for me.  The plan was for American Airlines to get my luggage to our first port, Nassau, the next day.  Unfortunately, we still had no form of birth control, and they didn't sell any on the ship.  Happy Honeymoon!!!

Tuesday, August 22, 2009

I woke up to the phone ringing in my room, and it was the help desk.  They informed me that my luggage did NOT make it to Nassau, and that I could come to the desk to contact the airline.  We were not at ALL happy!  I called the airline and they told me I could go buy what I need and they would reimburse me.  I told them to sen my luggage home to my mom's house.  We got off the boat at Nassau and it was sooooo muggy! There were about a billion little shops selling all kinds of junk.  It was a total tourist island and it was really just a nightmare.  We stayed on the island long enough to buy me a swimsuit, sweats, a t-shirt, and some birth control, then we went back to the boat.  We went swimming in the pool on the upper deck, and that was fun.  Because I didn't have my birth control pills to take, I started my period.  Like, 4 days after I got married.  What a nightmare. Also, I only had the garments I was wearing.  It's not like I could just pick up some more of those in the Bahamas.  SOOOO gross to wear the same underwear for a week?  YES!  I wouldn't recommend it.

Thursday, August 24, 2009

We ported in Key West, and this was definitely the best day of the cruise!  We walked across the whole island and found a good beach on the far side.  We went swimming and laid out, and a drunk man tried to get us to buy a rose he made out of a palm frond.  The beach owner/manager guy came over and told him to leave us alone.  The drunk guy was cussing up a storm and walked away to his drunk friends in a pavilion where they were dancing... drunkely.  DJ was watching closely when the drunk guy headed back towards the beach guy, making sure he wasn't trying to fight him, cause he worried he might have to help the beach guy out (he was pretty little).  The cops ended up coming for the drunk guy.  It was such a nice day, though, and it was nice just to relax on the beach.  Of course, the whole beach experience would have been better if I hadn't been on my period, but such is life.  After a few hours we headed back to the boat.  We never got to eat in the nice dining areas in the ship, because I didn't have any clothes I could wear in there.  Instead we ate at the buffet a lot and had room service delivered to us.  One night DJ called and ordered whole milk, and they brought him a glass of warm milk.  Ha!

Friday, August 25, 2009

We ported really early in the morning back in Miami.  We took the train back to the airport, and the American Airlines desk told us they hadn't been able to deliver my luggage to my mom because they can only give it to the person it belongs to.  I was just so over them!  We had several hours til our flight left so we took a bus to a nearby mall and bought some more clothes.  We went back to the AA counter and gave them all our receipts for reimbursement and they informed us it was against their policy to reimburse condoms (actually, the lady wouldn't say what she wouldn't reimburse, she just pointed to it on the receipt).  We were so mad!  I told them that they had lost my luggage with all my birth control, and I was on my HONEYMOON!  It didn't get me anywhere.  We waited at our gate for our flight for a LONG time, which ended up being delayed.  I started bawling, and people were looking at me like I was insane.  I just couldn't handle one more thing.  I cried for a long time.  After a few hours of delay we got on our plane and then the flight attendant got on the intercom and said, "It will be just a little longer.  We have a slight problem; the flight crew hasn't come in yet."  We were like, "Seriously?  A SLIGHT problem?  I'd hate to see what a BIG problem is, if a slight one is that we don't have anyone to fly the plane!!!"  We got to Denver late and definitely missed our flight to Billings.  We waited for a shuttle to take us to our hotel.  I had to sit on DJ's lap cause it was so crowded!  The Denver Airport is about 10-15 minutes away from anything, and right as we'd finally gotten to our hotel, DJ realized his ring was missing.  We waited for everyone to get out of the shuttle and searched for it.  We couldn't find it anywhere, so we got on another shuttle back to the airport.  We searched all over for it and it wasn't there.  I cried all the way back to the hotel.  It was just a really rough day.  When we got there, a shuttle driver came up to us.  He had gone back to the airport as soon as he heard DJ lost his ring, and he had actually found it!  So that was a huge blessing!

Saturday, August 26, 2009

We got up and got to the airport extra early to make sure nothing went wrong with our flight to Billings.  We got DJ checked in and the self-check-in would allow me to check in.  I went to the counter and found out that AA had somehow managed to check me in to my connecting flight from Denver and said I had already flown to Billings.  A manager was trying to figure it all out and we were stressing and explained how we didn't want to miss our own wedding reception that night.  We finally got a ticket with like 15 minutes til our plane was supposed to leave, and Denver has a HUGE airport.  Of course, our flight was taking off from literally the FARTHEST terminal from where we were.  We were blessed to get through security insanely fast, and then we sprinted down to the tram, which took us to our terminal.  Then we had to sprint all the way to gate 90 or something, which was on the very farthest back wall of the terminal.  It was ridiculous!  But we did make our flight, and from then on everything went well.

This was kind of the Honeymoon from Hell, but it was actually a good experience.  I think it was good for us to have such a rough time right at the beginning of our marriage and learn how to deal with things.  Plus, it makes for a great story!  Who does this happen to in real life???  It sounds like a movie, and a lame one at that, because just TOO many things went wrong for it to be believable!  But there, you have it.  Our eventful honeymoon!


So there you go guys!  There's my Sunday afternoon story for you.  Hope you got a kick out of it :)  It's back to business tomorrow!


  1. Wow...I will not complain about my wedding ever again. It was bad...but not like your Honeymoon bad. I don't think I've ever heard that story before.

  2. Oh my gosh... that is just ridiculous!!! I would boycott AA for the rest of my life! I think the rest of your marriage would be a breeze after that kind of experience!

  3. Thanks for the laughs! And sorry to laugh at your expense, but I couldn't help it. I thought waiting for my Grandma to bring me my Garments was bad, but waiting an extra few minutes to be alone with my new husband doesn't sound bad at all anymore!