Attached

The thing is, Lex is attached to me.  Waaaaay attached.  As in, she won't go to anyone but me, DJ or my mom.  Usually it's not a big deal.  Occasionally I wish she was more okay with other people, so I could feel more at ease about going out on actual dates with my husband.  It's something we probably need to work on.

But here's the thing.

I was waaaaay attached to my mom too.  On the first day of kindergarten, my mom took me into my classroom, and sat next to me until I was ready for her to leave.  That wasn't unusual-- other moms were there with their kids too.  But my mom was definitely there the longest.  I don't remember how long she stayed, but I do remember her asking me several times if I was ready to have her leave and I kept refusing.  The beautiful thing is, she stayed.  I don't remember ever feeling upset that she was gone, which tells me she stayed as long as I needed her to.

One day in first grade, I forgot my lunch.  My teacher was insisting that I just get "hot lunch" (the meal prepared at school).  While I was in line with my class waiting to go into the lunch room, I started crying.  I didn't WANT hot lunch.  I wanted my homemade lunch.  So my teacher took me to the office, where I called my mom and she promptly brought me my lunch.  She just dropped everything and brought it right then.  When she got there, my teacher said, "Ashleigh, this was okay this time, but if it happens again you'll just have to get hot lunch."  My mom quickly turned to her and responded, "No, Betty, this is why I don't work.  She can always call me if she needs something."

There aren't a lot of things I remember from that time in my life-- I was obviously quite young.  But 2 of my most vivid memories are of my mom taking care of me and making me feel comfortable.  I want to be that way for my kids, too.  And if that means Lexsi has to come to a Relief Society gift exchange with me rather than play in the Nursery with all the other kids, so be it.  In all my life, I never doubted my mom would be there for me.  I can promise that if I called her right now and asked her to come up to my house in Ogden, she'd do it.  She's just that awesome.  I want my kids to know I'm always here for them too.  I know the day will come when Lex won't need me with her as often.  That's a good thing.  It's the way it's supposed to be.  But for now, I'm going to enjoy the fact that she wants me close to her, wants me to play with her and be her best friend.  Because that's what moms do.