Sunday, February 20, 2011
Gratitude
Since last Wednesday when I posted my blog about having a baby, I have felt such an incredible outpouring of love and support that I can't even begin to describe the feelings I've had. The only thing I can say is thank you, thank you, thank you! I wish there was something better to say or do to express my gratitude, but all I can do is give you thanks and let you all know that you mean the world to me and that I hope you know how much I love each of you! I hope that someday I can repay you for all your support by supporting you in turn, but until then, just know how much I love you and how incredibly grateful I am. I also have to publicly thank my husband once again, for continuing to support me. If you haven't read his blog about his side of the story, I recommend it. You can get to it over on my side bar under the blog, "The Book of Laban." He's so great, and I just love him! Thanks again for all your support!
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Ash,
ReplyDeleteYou know computer stuff is not my forte. Today was a first on your blog in awhile. I am not surprised that you want a baby as you have always been a good little mommy first with dolls, your siblings, your siblings' babies and other babies. I am sad it has been such a struggle for you but know you will be a good mother. There is wisdom in what Meg said about the time you have with DJ as it will not happen again for a long time. I was naive and didn't understand the way things worked so well when I was married as I know you have heard the stories. I regret not taking more time with my marriage first. You will never have to say that. I am in no way trying to minimize your pain or the difficulty it presents for you. I'm just saying that perhaps some things could have been avoided if we had done things differently. I thought I was living my life so as not to have regrets but I have many. After visiting with your cousin, Cade, last week I felt that he really had a good point. He said that all of our trials are tailor made for us individually. The trial he is experiencing he says he would never have thought to ask for nor did he ever want it, but that lots of good was coming of it. He feels God's hand in it. I think I hear you saying the same thing. He's still angry and sad and frustrated a LOT of the time but in his more spiritually clear time, he feels it's right. I love you, nothing will ever change that. I pray for you and DJ EVERY day! Life REALLY is challenging. There's no way around it. Since you were His daughter first, I know He wants what's best for you more than I do. I pray the honest desires of your heart will be given to you but that while you wait, you will be blessed with all the time and resources you need to accomplish His will now in whatever ways He knows is best! You're my sweet princess and if I feel like that about you, I'm positive those sentiments can be magnified billions of times over for Him. One thing I know is that to trust Him is hard but the only way to have real peace. I believe in you and in Him. You will have your honest desires. I love you!